Where Were You When…

Every generation seems to have at least one major event that makes people ask where you were when it happened.  For my generation, of course, that event was September 11, 2001.

I was in my freshman year at Penn State, which had started less than a month earlier.  My first class that day didn’t start until around 11:00 AM, so I was sleeping in.  My roommate, Becky, got up and went into the communal dorm bathroom to start her day.  I hazily registered this, and went back to dozing.  After her shower, she returned to the dorm room, which again woke me slightly.  Though I was halfway between sleeping and waking, I could sense her standing in the middle of the room looking at me, hovering uncertainly over the bed, unsure if she should wake me.  I popped one eye open, and she said, “Ummm, do you mind if I turn the TV on?  Amber just came into the bathroom and said that they’ve bombed the World Trade Center.”  My first thought was, “Okay, so I must obviously still be asleep, since there is no way she just said that.”  However, as I propped myself up on my elbows, and Becky turned on the TV to show the Breaking News reports, I knew this was no dream.

The rest of my family was back in Texas, and at that moment I felt very far away from all of them.  I called my mother, who was at work as a delivery driver, and we were sharing the updates that we had heard from each end.  I remember watching the TV when I saw the ticker across the bottom of the screen announce another plane had crashed in Somerset, PA, which I relayed to my mother.  (It’s amazing to think that at the time, they thought this was of such little news that it was announced via ticker scroll and not by the anchor).  My mother and I were a bit alarmed, since I was in Pennsylvania at the time, and we had yet to learn the geography.  Luckily, my roommate was from Pennsylvania, and she was able to tell me that it was about three hours away from us and not anywhere close.

My two classes that day still went on as scheduled.  It was such an eerie feeling on campus.  The walks to and from class were in near silence, and I remember seeing a huge crowd of students huddled around the massive television inside the HUB (the student union center), watching for updates.  When I got to my first class, one of the students was beside herself with worry, because her mother was a flight attendant and she had not yet heard from her.  Luckily, she turned out to be fine, just stuck for a few days in England before being able to come back home.  I remember praying that it was the work of a homegrown terrorist, like the Oklahoma City bombing, and not a foreign terrorist.  Trials are much easier to handle than wars.

I can only hope that September 11, 2001 will be the last “Where Were You When” moment, but I am not that naive.  Disasters will always strike, tragedies will always take place.  But I know, after witnessing the unified front that day on campus and from around the world in the following weeks, that whatever happens in the future, we will make it together.  We, as citizens of the United States of America, as citizens of Earth, will always make it together.

Top 5 Unintentionally Terrifying Ad Campaigns

Advertising is everywhere.  You can’t escape it.  Sometimes it makes you hungry.  Sometimes it makes you want to buy stuff.  And sometimes it haunts your nightmares.  In this post, I will go through five of the most frightening ad campaigns I can think of.  What these advertisers were thinking, no one knows.

5. Burger King

This one was so obvious, I had no choice but to include it here.  Because it’s so overly discussed, however, that’s why I put it at the bottom of the list.  Not much can be said about this guy that hasn’t already been said online, on television, in stand-up comedy, etc.  Why they thought that this frightening plastic grin would help sell hamburgers is anyone’s guess.

 

4. McDonald’s

The other obvious candidate for this list.  Just searching on Google for the image to use here brought up a huge amount of selections comparing Ronald McDonald to the Joker.  Enough said.  Who out there doesn’t have a clown phobia?  They’re creepy!  So the powers that be decided the best mascot for their burger chain would be the subject of one of the top major fears from which people suffer.  Why didn’t they just make their mascot a giant spider who has to speak in public while dangling from a great height?  Oddly enough, Ronald never scared me as a kid, not like that freak-show Bozo the Clown used to. (shudder)  And honestly, the scariest thing about Ronald for me is the ad where real men named Ronald McDonald talk about how they like Burger King.  All I can think of is, “What kind of sadistic freak would actually saddle their poor innocent baby with the name Ronald McDonald?”  Things that make you wonder.

3. Quizno’s

Honestly, I have no idea what was going through the minds of the people that created this monstrosity.  “Hey, guys, you know what will sell more sandwiches?  Mutant Rats from Hell!”  Out of all the things they could pick, they decided to go with something that crossed a Tribble with a Langolier and then screeched out their song in such a way that made you long for nails on a chalkboard.  I remember when it came out, my grandmother flat out refused to ever eat there again, simply because their commercials were so horrific for her to even look at the screen.  Great job, advertisers!  Don’t believe me?  Check out this commercial here (if you dare): Terrifying Quiznos Commercial

2. Coca-Cola

To be fair, Coca-Cola has had some really great hits with their advertising campaigns, from Santa to the polar bears.  But good lord, what is wrong with this kid?  Just what DO they put in Coca-Cola anyway?  This kid looks like he has either had too much Coca-Cola, or he really needs one badly, and will eat your face if you stand in his way.  Just a hint for advertisers, a tweeked out kid that looks like he will steal your soul is probably not who you want representing your product.

1. Toys R Us

Ok, this one may be a more personal decision, and it may not have affected you like it affected me, because my mind tends to work in more of a skewed manner.  Who out there doesn’t remember the iconic jingle, “I don’t want to grow up, ’cause if I did, I wouldn’t be a Toys R Us kid?”  That simple, catchy jingle constantly sent a chill of ice down my spine every time I heard it.  This wasn’t just telling me I should go out and buy more toys.  This was telling me that my toy-playing days were limited!  I only had a few good years left in which I could safely enjoy my Barbies, my Care Bears, my Popples, and my board games.  And then, once I reached a predetermined age, the age of “growing up,” I would somehow be rendered unable to play with toys and must therefore be flung into the realm of boring adulthood.  This was my first taste of being faced with my own mortality, forcing me to look into the depths of my soul, and to ponder what life was really all about.  What if I couldn’t play with my toys?  What would be the point of it all?  Fortunately, I discovered as I grew up that you are never really too old to play with toys, so I never really had anything to worry about.  But it was pretty traumatizing there for a while!

Can you think of any other ads that you’ve seen that fill you with the cold touch of dread?  Comment below!

A special thanks to the person who invented “spoilers”

Spoiler alert!  Spoiler alert!  That phrase has become ingrained in our vocabulary.  I heard it has even been added to the dictionary.  And I for one would like to thank the person who first started using this phrase and helped it become mainstream.  I’m not being sarcastic, I genuinely appreciate the new awareness people have for not spoiling key plot elements.

As an avid movie watcher and book reader, there is nothing I hate more than spoilers.  Ok, there may be a few things I hate more, but spoilers are still pretty far up there!  I can still remember the time in junior high when I overheard the conversation, “Have you seen (movie name withheld to prevent spoilers, obviously)?  Isn’t it so sad when (character) dies?”  I had in fact NOT seen the movie, but how kind of those two young girls to render it pointless for me to ever feel the need to view it.

That still can’t compare to the worst spoiler I have ever seen, however.  I am about to talk about the movie Titanic, so if you haven’t seen it in theaters, on video, or during one of the five million television broadcast showings, I suggest skipping this paragraph.  Titanic also came out when I was in junior high, and boy was it all the rave!  I think I myself saw it four times in the theater, and there were others in my school that seemed to be going for a world record.  However, it’s what happened before the movie hit theaters that truly astounds me.  I was reading a teen magazine (I still look back nostalgically at the days of poring over YM and Sixteen with my friends).  In this magazine, there was an article about the upcoming film, Titanic.  Remember, I said this was BEFORE the movie was ever released.  I’m reading it, since I am really looking forward to the movie, and, I kid you not, I read the following line, “But will you be able to handle watching Leo go down with the ship?”  I just sat there, staring at the page, my mouth hanging open in disbelief.  Did they really just tell all of their readers that a main character dies BEFORE anyone reading the article could have any sort of possibility to see the movie?!?  And this was in a professional monthly magazine.  Not only did someone have to be daft enough to write it, someone ELSE had to edit it and approve it for print!  Did it not occur to anyone at any time during the publishing process that spilling such a major plot point might not be the best idea?

Pardon me for venting, but it’s little things like this that just get my blood boiling.  Part of the joy of reading a book or watching a movie is the journey itself of discovering what will happen next.  And if there happens to be a surprise in the mix, something we never saw coming, that just adds to the delight!  So when someone lets a spoiler slip, when a secret is revealed, it takes that bit of magic away.  So once again, thank you, kind sir or madam, for creating awareness of the importance of “spoilers.”  You have brought the magic back to the joys of story-telling. 

Why do you have to look graceful when your life is in danger?

This is a really common scene in movies, so much so that it almost feels cliche, and it never ceases to bug me every time I see it.  There is some sort of action going on, and eventually it will cause the character to be forced to cross a chasm.  It seems impossible; how will they ever reach the other side?  But wait!  There is a narrow pathway across, be it a fallen tree, a beam, a board, or other similar object.  Hooray!  So what does our hero do next?  Proceed to balance beam the object, teetering and tottering back and forth in a tense struggle against gravity, praying they don’t lose their footing and be plummeted into certain death below.  But what I want to know is… why?

Ok, so I am admittedly not the outdoorsy type, and I am nowhere near athletic even in the best of situations.  But logic to me dictates that if you are afraid for your life, if the only thing between you and thousands of feet below you is some narrow object, you should get as close to that object as possible!  That means drop down to your hands and knees and hug that sucker, inching forward on your belly.  Now you don’t have to worry about balance, plus your body weight is more spread out, which may take some strain off the object itself (think thin ice).  No, it may not look pretty, but who cares about pretty when your life is in danger?  Let the pretty people have pretty obituary pictures.  I prefer to be alive!

The main scene that sticks out in my mind when I think of this predicament is from Troop Beverly Hills (remember that movie?).  They have to cross a chasm, and they take advantage of the nearby fallen tree.  During this scene, the main character not only performs the balance beam trick, but does so more than once when her daughter’s foot gets stuck and she has to go rescue her!  Could they have not taken the hint of extreme imminent danger and just shimmied it the rest of the way?

I get it.  I know it’s supposed to build suspense for the viewer, wondering if the main character makes it or not (spoiler: they usually do).  And I know this isn’t the only time that characters in movies make dumb decisions.  But dang if this isn’t one of those decisions that just irks me every time I see it!

But then again, I would probably be the only member of the Olympics gymnastics team that would inch along the balance beam like a caterpillar.

Even Trucks Have Toilet Troubles

Don’t you just hate it when you go to the bathroom and get toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe?

Welcome!

Hello!  Thank you so much for taking the time to check out my blog.  I thought it was about time I get a little spot of real estate on the Internet where I can write about whatever I feel like.  And that is exactly what I intend to do: write about whatever I feel like!  On this blog, you will see a slice of the randomness that goes on in my brain, which means you never know what you will see here!  I might rant about something that has irritated me, I might muse over something that has been pressing on my mind, or I might even talk about things that happen in my daily life (don’t worry, I’ll try to keep it from getting boring!).  Long story short, keep checking back, because the randomness never stops in my mind!